JJSP: the blog.

supposedly the first rule about reddit, is – don’t talk about reddit… but i, don’t really give a fuck. i won’t be stealing imgurs or rage comics off the front page and posting them here as my own, but sometimes – you come across a post (or in this case, a comment) that sticks with you.

in r/relationships, someone posted the question, “is it really worth it to marry your best friend, even if the sex is mediocre and/or infrequent?” to which a user by the name of sommiel (whom i’ve come to notice, has quite a bit of sage advice to distribute amongst r/relationships & askreddit) quotes the OP: “I just keep thinking I’m 23 and I should be fucking both my and his brains out at this stage in our lives,” and replies with:

Say’s who?

You are telling this to us, have you brought it up to him? Maybe he feels the same way? Now if you talk to him and he doesn’t have a problem with it, or doesn’t respect the fact that you have one it’s another thing.

“The spark” is what you make it. You had sexual chemistry with him in the past, it’s still there. It’s just gone into hiding because it hasn’t had the chance to be nurtured. And yes, stress does affect your sex life drastically. But there are always things that you can do to spice that up as long as both of you are committed to the process. Without knowing what the issues are in the sack, it’s hard for me to make recommendations. People can have different sex drives, people can vary in this depending on what is going on around them. Depression, stress, even weather can change the equation.

There is no such thing as getting too comfortable with someone from a sexual perspective. With the comfort comes more loss of inhibitions. Too comfortable with each other is more like peeing with the door open while you talk to your mate. There needs to be a little bit of mystery in every relationship.

Maybe you could take a fucking vacation, and I mean a fucking vacation. Take some books with you and try something different and new. Try some role playing, saran wrap him to a tree naked and blow him. Any old weird thing you can think of.

There is almost an obsession with sex now. I don’t know if it’s too much porn causing the expectation that every sex act has to be wild and crazy, suspended from the ceiling, or what. There are people that have shit hot sexual chemistry with each other, that can’t stand the other person. You can’t build a life on make up sex.

The most important thing in any relationship, and a LTR is no exception… is the ability to be able to communicate. If you can live together, love the person you are with, trust the person you are with and prefer their company to all others? That’s what makes it work. Eventually we will all grow older and reverse cowgirl is not even thinkable after you have that knee replacement. Hemorrhoids will make anal sex impossible. But loving the person you are with, exactly for who and what they are, is what really matters in the long run.